What “Self-Story” Is Holding You Back?

July 22nd, 2009

 

A self-story is a story we tell ourselves about ourselves or our life. For example, I was a smoker for many years starting as a teenager. And though I didn’t think about it, every time I lit up, I told myself the same story: “I am a smoker.” I woke up with that story and I went to bed with that story. For many years, it was a story I didn’t want to be my own, but it was.

It’s the same for binge-eaters, low-earners, and jewel thieves, just as it is for chick magnets, athletes, top executives, and divas. It may start with a behavior or a goal or a mistake, but at it’s essence, it becomes what you tell yourself. Taking a dead end job does not automatically make one a low-earner, just as winning one swimming competition does not make you an Olympian. The behavior or the situation has to become the story you tell yourself for it to stick.

My life as a smoker ended not just when I was able to give up the act of smoking (which let me tell you, was not easy), but when I actually disconnected from smoking. My life as a smoker truly ended once and for all when I saw someone else doing it and did not automatically feel an urge to smoke, when I saw a pack of cigarettes and somewhere in the back of my mind, a little voice reminded me: “I am a nonsmoker.

How can you change your story in order to change your life?

Photo by Dr. Jaus.

Related posts:

1. Tell a New Story, Live a New Life
2. Procrastination Breaker: Trick Yourself

Filed under: personal stuff

Tags: quitting smoking