I love this post from Dave Navarro, the personal productivity and internet launch coach with the same name as a famous guitarist.
I consider myself as an independent thinker, able to separate everyone else’s agenda from my own and to stay firmly attuned to the latter. But then I read this post and I realize, of course other people control my life. And they control yours, too.
Think about who you admire, who you respect, who you envy, who you love, who you fear, who you rely on, who you value personally and professionally, who you cannot stand… They all have a hand in shaping your self-image, your world view and your actions. Make sure they shape it in the right way.
Dave will break it down for you:
http://www.rockyourday.com/5-people-who-secretly-control-your-life/
What do you think? Are you immune to the sway of any or all of these?
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April 29th, 2010
If you watch “Survivor” (which I do) or “Big Brother” (which I don’t) or any other “social game” reality contest (where you are competing largely based on your standing among your peers, not some specific skill you have or task you are given), you know that it’s important to position yourself correctly in a group of people (in both these cases, if you wanna win a million bucks, but in a non-game show sense, if you want to be successful in your career).
I couldn’t help but think about “Survivor” while I was reading Seth Godin’s last two books. Seth Godin is a marketing guru known for his blog, his bald head (it’s not our fault- he refers to it a lot), and his series of highly-readable and informative books. [Full disclosure: I am a fan with probably 10 Godin titles on my shelves.]
“Tribes,” which came out in 2008, is a no-brainer to bring to mind a show which uses the tribal breakdown as a social grouping. At 142 pages and halfway to being pocket-sized, it was a quick and easy read. It had lots of great anecdotes which held together nicely, like a series of really good Seth Godin blog posts which had a natural progression and added up to a solid but simple message: Choose to become a leader of a tribe of like-minded people grouped around your specific passion, point-of-view, or mission in life.
“Linchpin,” which came out recently, is a standard-sized book and it’s 235 pages. Its premise is that you need to be the indispensable key person, the natural leader and human connector who innovates even when it means going against the grain, in any work situation in order to have job security and a meaningful life. A good, solid concept, but sadly, the book does not have the same amount and quality of compelling true-life stories to illustrate it and also does not have the natural progression.
“Linchpin” is pretty much “Tribes” taken to the next level. And had this been a “Tribes”-sized (and quality) tome, it would’ve been an excellent companion piece next to it on my bookshelf. Unfortunately, “Linchpin” reads like Godin is getting paid by the word, or like he’s so in love with his own voice (or his publishers are), he didn’t get a talented editor with a backbone to pass his book through multiple rounds of revisions. The first 100 pages should’ve been 20. The next 130 pages could’ve easily been 50.
My other theory is that Godin took so seriously the “call to ship” he expounds about at length in “Linchpin” (meaning finishing creative projects and products on deadline no-matter-what and getting them out the door to the customer) that he didn’t get a chance to properly develop and hone the ideas contained in the book, to make sure he had the right stories to bring his concepts to life, and to edit, edit, edit.*
It’s a shame, whatever the reason, that this one came out undercooked. Godin’s work is usually amusing, inspiring, and sometimes mind-blowing. This one was a laborious process to get through.
As for “Survivor,” recently one of the tribes in “Survivor: All Stars” chose to get rid of a “positive” player and keep a “negative” one (in this case, a choice between the tribe’s two leaders, linchpins in every sense of Godin’s definition) and the other tribe kept the “positive” person and got rid of the “negative” one.
And had I written this post a couple weeks ago, it would’ve been about how the tribe who kept the negative person, a natural leader but a destructive force, is screwed and the one who kept the positive person, a good guy who had upped his game since the negative player had left, was going to dominate. But this being a TV show contest, things got complicated by an immunity idol and it looks like the “good guy” team has screwed themselves by making a serious tactical error.
But in “Survivor” as in life, tribes only take you so far before you have to stand for yourself. In other words, the game changes again when there is a merge. I for one will stay tuned to “Survivor,” and pick up “Tribes” again for a reminder of why I like Seth Godin’s writing so much and hope he takes another pass at “Linchpin” and makes it as strong a call-to-action as “Tribes.”
*For those of your regular readers who remember last week’s post about my blown deadline and regrouping on my eBook project, you probably won’t be surprised to learn that reading “Linchpin” was one of my inspirations to chart a steadier, more deliberate course when I felt the end product was going to suffer in my rush to ship. (Thank you, Seth, for that.) More on my plan and progress on that project as the weeks progress.
[NOTE: The bookcover photo and the product links are affiliate links, which means if you go to Amazon through clicking on them and buy either the featured products or most other things, the brains being the MYF operation gets a few cents. Thanks in advance!]
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April 22nd, 2010
You might have noticed, I haven’t been writing on this blog much, not even my usual once-a-week post.
Though I know clients and future clients and former clients read this blog and though I try to include a takeaway with every post (that should be the official MYF motto: “A takeaway with every post!”), I consider this blog more of a form of self-expression than a business tool so it’s optional, depending upon what else is going on. (Don’t be offended. It’s not you, it’s me.)
Okay, so moving on…
You might remember a little over a month ago, I wrote a post in which I called myself out for falling behind on finishing the eBook I was working on to sell through my other site, Your Industry Insider. Let’s be honest- I had barely begun. Here is what I said at the time:
Here’s a rough list of what I need to do: Finalize the outline, finish reading the music business book, write a rough draft of the ebook, get feedback and rewrite as needed, get ebook cover made, create a page on YII through which to sell book, create bonuses for my Mogul Mindset eBlast recipients who buy the ebook first, get ebook formatted and in the correct format to sell, do announcement(s) on YII, create press release, do other marketing for ebook…
I vowed to do at least one thing a day every day for 30 days until, voila!, the ebook was finished and launched. This is what I said, this is what must have happened, right? The ebook is done, of course. Right? I mean, I’m a person who prides herself on juggling all of the tasks in her busy life. I help other people prioritize and manage their to-do lists. I meet deadlines.
And I probably did one thing a day almost every day for the last 30 days. Some days, I did two. Average of one thing a day. Which resulted in progress, but not the kind of progress needed to tackle the task. When you have five miles to go, walking a step or two a day is barely making a dent.
So then, the gods of time management shined upon me with some alone time while my husband and toddler flew off to Michigan to visit family. Surely I could get everything done in a week. Yes, I had other things to do- I did a conference call on webinars, I had the usual blogging, some around-the-house stuff- but it still seemed reasonable to me.
I think we see where this is going. I got the time and focus to take a good hard look at the project and I realized how much work was left to do, including research that I should’ve been doing all along, and I also started reading a book on launching ebooks and from that I got what exactly goes into a successful on-line product launch and… well, just writing about it makes me want to take a nap.
So here I am… can anyone relate? Any advice for hitting the reset button?
April 16th, 2010
I found this slideshow by Betsy Streeter on The Affluent Artist inspiring. Hope you do, too!
LET YOUR BEAST OUT!!!
April 3rd, 2010
I’m all in favor of people taking responsibility for things that happen in their life, but two recent discussions I had, one with a stranger and one with a friend, reminded me that sometimes it’s good to recognize when it’s not your fault.
The first conversation was during a job interview I was conducting. The candidate was in her late-20s and was interviewing to make a move from supporting three executives elsewhere to supporting the head of a film company. She was well-dressed, seemed sharp and somewhat confident, but in the background, there was also something tentative about her.
Now, being big on stories of all kinds, to get an idea of the narrative of a person’s career, I always start my interviews (after a little introductory chit-chat) at their educational background and move forward to the present. This candidate had gone to a good school, and post-graduation, had worked for the manager of a very, very successful rock band. (Think U2. The next band you think of after that is the band she worked for.)
I was impressed and it sounded like a good job to boot. ”Yeah, I had five good years,” she said with a smile. It was a joke made because after that, she’d had a series of career setbacks due to budget cuts and company closures. It was clear to me that she had been on a path to being an executive in music marketing before the economy steered her off path and left her feeling she was simply meant to be an administrative support person in any capacity in entertainment rather than targeting that “dream job.”
Nothing against administrative support people in entertainment- a great one is worth their weight in gold. And had this candidate been right for the job, I would’ve snapped her up.
But, long story short, I told her she wasn’t right for the job she was meeting me for and that she needed to get back on her path, find a job in the music business that would position her for the junior executive position that she needed in order to make the leap off the assistant’s desk.
The other conversation was with an actress friend who is taking an acting workshop and recently had an encounter with a sleazy old guy who claims to be a producer, but has neither credits nor internet search results to back up that claim.
Somehow, though, he has weaseled his way into being a recurrent guest at this workshop with the casting director’s blessing. The actress had one conversation with the sleaze, casually (!) referred to her husband and caused him to back off in a flash, no doubt looking for some other innocent young lovely to prey on.
The actress wanted to know what it was about her that drew this type of guy to her. “Are you kidding?” I said. “This town is full of them. If you are an actress, there is no way to avoid running into them. The trick is to get them to go away as quickly as possible.”
Both of these women were relieved by what I had to say. “It’s not YOU, it’s the economy,” I told the job candidate. “It’s not you, it’s the industry,” I told the actress.
And I am happy to report that after returning to her path just a few weeks ago, the job candidate has landed the perfect job in the music industry. And the actress, her mind free of self-blaming garbage, is confidently going about the business of being an actress, knowing that, while sleazy men will no doubt cross her path, she can make the go away in short order.
What have you been blaming yourself for? Can you let it go and move forward on your path?
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March 28th, 2010
Earlier this year, in a post entitled This Guy Is Your New Guru, I wrote about how you could apply the same tactics Tyler Weeks used to lose 125 pounds in one year to any goals you have in your life, whether you want to makeover your career, your finances, or even your body.
But as anyone who’s ever watched one of those Biggest Loser “Where Are They Now?” interviews with the contestant who has gained most, if not all, of the weight back, the hardest part is maintaining weight loss once you have achieved your goal weight. How is Tyler doing?
Well, he’s had his ups & downs, including gaining a whopping 10 pounds in a single weekend of binge eating. But by and large, he has stuck to his plan, forgiven his diversions from that plan, and continued his healthy weight loss journey.
I had a meditation teacher who used the term “putting the puppy back on his path” to mean gently guiding your mind back to it’s relaxed state when it starts to wander. I tend to use this expression for any time you wander off the road from A to B.
For me, from almost the moment I declared my intention, in last week’s post, to do one thing a day with the goal of getting my eBook for Your Industry Insider done in 30 days, I wandered off the path. Part of it wasn’t my fault. I had my parents in town, which meant not just entertaining them. It meant the 2 1/2 year old son would not be going to day care. The same 2 1/2 year old who won’t nap except in the car now.
So, I did not get seven things done in the last week for the eBook. I did talk to my graphic designer and got her started on creating the cover. I did read some of the music industry book. I did finalize the outline. But I need to make serious progresss now if I want to launch the book in April.
This weekend, Brian has a class so I have the little one to myself. I hope to get him to nap (in the car only, but better than nothing) so I can read (hopefully finish) the music book this weekend. I can also write freehand in a notebook. (A laptop would definitely be too enticing for him to sleep while I worked on it.) And today I can use my lunch break to do some things. And next week, do the same.
[By the way, I just took out the word "hopefully" out of the last sentence. I had started "And hopefully today..." But who am I kidding? It's up to me. I can gently put the puppy back on the path.]
So congratulations and thanks to Tyler Weeks of 344pounds.com- for your weightloss overall, for re-losing those ten pounds you gained (readers, it took him about a month!) and for being an excellent guru.
What goals are you working on? Check out Tyler’s site & see if he can help you, too!
March 19th, 2010
Sometime in January, I read an article in Success Magazine called 44 Ways to Jumpstart Your New Year. The first item of 44 recommended we make one change in our lives for a period of one month. (The other 43 items were nice and helpful, but this one was the winner for me.) The idea was to do something new that you had thought about but had not done, such as meditating for 20 minutes each day or not watching television.
My deliberate change for the month of February was to only listen to music in the car. It may not seem like much, but for a somewhat addicted NRP listener, it was a pretty big change of routine. (Though it was helped by the fact that the local NPR station has decided to play the BBC during my morning drive time. I don’t even like the BBC when I’m in London, much less in Los Angeles.)
My other changes were a side effect of going to see a naturopath in an attempt to get sick less often and have more energy overall. They were to keep a food diary, have a vegetable with breakfast, cut down on carbs, and eliminate dairy. I also cut out alcohol completely for most of the month (and then cut back on an ongoing basis).
So, how did listening to only music in the car affect me? I found myself feeling more energetic and getting more done in the car. (I pulled over a lot to jot down ideas for projects I am working on in a little notebook I carry with me.) I also pulled out CDs I hadn’t listened to in a while, which was fun. The bottom line is that being in the car was a “different” experience, which was stimulating and obviously got me thinking in new ways.
What about the dietary changes? I had thought I would miss the wine, but what I really missed was cheese. Who knew? Cutting out these things, adding a vegetable at breakfast, and the other changes, made shopping for food and preparing it a deliberate and also somewhat “new,” which I think is a good thing.
At the end of the month, I went back to listening to the talk on NPR sometimes (not in the morning, though), but I am still listening to more music. And although I occassionally partake of the dairy products, most of the dietary changes are ongoing and resulting in more energy.
I didn’t get it together to do an “official” daily change for the month of March, but I am going to implement one today for the next 30 days, which is to do one at least one thing per day that will help me achieve my current #1 goal: to complete an eBook to sell through Your Industy Insider.
Like the blog, it’s about careers in the entertainment industry. (I don’t want to get too specific because I haven’t announced it on YII yet.) Where am I now on creating it? I have a rough outline and some partially-written sections and I am about a quarter of the way through a book on the current layout of the music business. I want to actually have the eBook book launched in 30 days.
Here’s a rough list of what I need to do: Finalize the outline, finish reading the music business book, write a rough draft of the book, get feedback and rewrite as needed, get book cover made, create a page on YII through which to sell book, create bonuses for my Mogul Mindset eBlast recipients who buy the book first, get book formatted and in the correct format to sell, do announcement(s) on YII, create press release, do other marketing for book…
I’m sure I’m forgetting things, but I’ll fill you in on my progress as I go along. I consider a “thing” as either 1) one task if it’s something that can be completed in under an hour or 2) one hour working on something (such as reading the music book, working on the outline or actually writing the eBook).
I am sharing this process not only to force myself into accountability, but because I get a lot of questions about how I get everything done and I am hoping by giving you this step-by-step example, you will be helped in your struggle to fit everything you want to accomplish into your 24/7 life.
Okay, so what do you want to accomplish most right now? Want to take a step a day? Or it there some other daily change you want to implement? Share in the comments!
March 11th, 2010
Marcus Buckingham is a researcher who has turned identifying and harnessing your strengths and those of others (and, conversely, working around- rather than trying to eliminate or transform- weaknesses) into a series of bestselling self-help books (as well as speaking engagements, coaching programs, Oprah appearances, and, no doubt, eventually a television show).
I’ll admit I hadn’t read any of Buckingham’s previous work, even though several people had recommended his books to me. To me, they sounded too dry. But when an entrepreneurs group I’m a member of chose Find Your Strongest Life: What the Happiest and Most Successful Women Do Differently as a book club selection, I decided to give it a read.
It’s going to sound odd to say, but I didn’t think I liked the book until I was at lunch with a friend, a stay-at-home mom who was lamenting how to get back into the work force now that her child is a teenager, and found myself recommending that she buy it.
A lot of women are dissatisfied with their lives. Stress they don’t understand, emptiness, feeling powerless or worse- worthless. Buckingham’s book starts with a very detailed breakdown of the factors affecting today’s women and how those factors contribute to overall unhappiness or depression. As I was reading the book, I found myself getting impatient with this long-winded and sometimes redundant analysis (”I get it! Get to the solution already!”), but women like my friend would most likely find this information, however excessive I found it, comforting and enlightening.
Many of the stay-at-home moms I know, both personally and as clients, once their children are in school, tend to be unhappier and struggle more with self-esteem than the working moms who are frantically trying to keep their busy lives running smoothly, but who get validation from their roles in the outer world. Buckingham addresses this and explains it in a way that I hope will provide reassurance to the moms. (Hint: It’s not you.)
Okay, so what about the solution? What do the happiest and most successful women do differently? Buckingham’s guidance is deceptively simple, and something I have done, either instinctively or by default, for many years (because there are only so many hours in a day- you have to make choices). He says that instead of aiming for balance, women should aim for imbalance in all areas of their lives, toward those times where they feel strongest. And if they don’t have strong moments in a particular area, they should elimnate that area as much as they are able.
Buckingham supports and demonstrates his theories with stories from his own life and by depicting two women he has worked with and the contrasts between them. I’ll give you a couple of examples from my own life. One of the things I love doing most in my corporate job (in which I have many roles) is hiring. I love to review resumes and then to interview the candidates. The people I enjoy talking to most are often the ones who aren’t right for the job I am filling. If they are open to it, I can tell them how to improve their resumes and better target a job they would be right for.
Realizing this strength (and how much satisfaction it gives me to use it) and knowing the hiring component of my job wasn’t going to get any larger, a few years ago I began rewriting resumes and providing career consulting professionally. Though I still get those strong moments in my job, more often it is through working independently with clients that I garner that type of satisfaction. (Luckily, other areas of the job provide different types of strong moments or I would be forced to consider leaving it.)
After lunch with my friend, we went to the bookstore and she bought Find Your Stongest Life. She liked that it was somewhat automatic, not a complicated process, to align her life with her strengths, and I think there’s a lot to say for that. If you are feeling unsatisfied with your life, and can absorb the process that Buckingham outlines in his book and ingrain it into your decision-making as you go through life, you will, no doubt, feel happier and likely be more successful, too. If you already feel pretty empowered and usually live your life focussing on your strong moments, you can definitely skip this book.
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March 6th, 2010
This is going to be short. It’s a simple concept. The trick is in the execution.
Your career sweet spot, the place where you get the most personal satisfaction and the most material success (position, promotion, cash money) lies at the intersection of the answers to two questions:
A) What do you like doing?
B) What are your most marketable skills?
Simple, right? Coming up with the answers to those questions and finding the common ground is often one of the challenges for my career consulting clients. BUT once they are able to get a clear picture of the common ground, it creates first a sense of relief and then a direction for forward movement.
So before you make a career move or set to work on polishing your resume, do this little exercise and see what you discover. It may surprise you.
Photo courtesy of jimmiehomeschoolmom.
February 25th, 2010
Close your other browser windows. Please.
Turn off the TV.
Put the baby down.
And the fork.
And the magazine.
Hang up the phone, too.
Seriously, are we all out of control or what? We wear too many hats, we have not enough time. So what do we do? Everything. At the same time.
I used to be the dictionary definition of what astrologists consider a typical Gemini. I would have six books of various genres going at any one time. I would tackle my to-do list round-robin style, a little of this a little of that, with multiple items going simultaneously. I’d read, watch TV, and make notes in my journal all at the same time. And when I was done at the computer, it took me five minutes just to close all the programs and browser windows I’d have open.
I thought that motherhood would kick the multitasking madness in me up a notch or five, but it’s almost like becoming a mother broke the machine. Or rather, it showed me the folly in thinking the machine worked that way. Uh, “me” being the machine.
Turns out that recent studies have shown that your IQ goes down ten points when you try to do more than one thing simultaneously. If you’ve ever walked around your house talking on your cell phone while looking for your cell phone, you know that’s no lie.
But there’s something more to it. The tendency to do more with less time makes your brain skittish, always wanting to add to the moment. What else? What else? What else? in a robotic sing-song that makes it difficult to focus on the things you are already doing. (I know it’s not just me.)
When my husband and I aren’t fully present with our two-and-a-half year-old, Ben, we can only fake it for so long and then he does one of two things: If he can, he grabs either side of our face and turns it to whatever he wants us to look at or he turns it toward his own face and repeats a single word request until we respond. (Often our response is “No.” He wants lollipops a lot. “Pop. Pop. Pop.”) If he can’t get us by the face, he just walks around pushing buttons, opening drawers, and pulling at cables until he has our attention. (Nothing like a neglected toddler grabbing for your computer router to snap you out of a fog.)
But aside from really appreciating the artisitic merits of “Abby’s Flying Fairy School” (it’s part of Sesame Street- it rocks), there is something about being fully present at one thing for a period of time that is like resting, it is an echo of a time where there were only nine channels on your TV, all the phones were wired to a wall, and… well, you get the idea. It’s peaceful. (Seriously, kids, NINE channels.)
I try to take this lesson into the rest of my life, with varying degrees of success. Here are some things I’ve learned from experimenting with unitasking, my name for the alternative to multitasking:
1) Email is a huge distractor no matter what anyone says. Having your computer ding (or a pop-up appear on screen) every time an email arrives is like someone saying “Look over here, look over here” at random, frequent intervals while you try to do other things. Just close the email box when you start a project. The mail will still be there when you are finished.
2) Doing one thing at a time will not only make you more efficient, it will give you a healthier sense of the passing of time. When you do one thing at a time, time seems more linear and therefore more expansive. You did this and then you did this and then you did this. Flitting between several things will only make you feel like time is a giant blob and you probably won’t finish as much, thus making you feel even more starved for time than you did when you started.
3) If you make a to-do list and then prioritize it before you start tackling the items, you will be more at peace with unitasking. This will guarantee you are doing the most important thing first and you will be less likely to obsess over the other things you need to do.
4) Reading while the TV is on assures that you will not absorb the content of either medium very well. It may be basic to some people, but not everyone realizes the brain-split that happens in this scenario. (I can’t even listen to music that has lyrics while I am either reading or writing.) You definitely get more out of either of these things if you choose between them.
5) Multitasking is only better when one of the tasks is really automatic, such as folding laundry while watching TV or doing dishes while listening to “This American Life.” I’d go so far as to say having a diversion during these mindless tasks can give you a healthier sense of time. You are not obsessing over how much of your life is passing you by while you attend to these mundane chores. Instead, you are enjoying “Modern Family.” Or even “Abby’s Flying Fairy School.”
As usual, I would like to hear your take on time and how you organize it to its best advantage – or not. Comments welcome, appreciated, enjoyed.
[Full disclosure: I have been having lunch while writing this. What are you gonna do? A girl's gotta eat.]
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February 18th, 2010
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